Narrative
Short
Digital

Featured

W/RED Scarlet 4k
00:11:52
Color

Back to the Lake (2023)

[*LEGAL DISCLAIMER: Back to the Lake© has been registered with the U.S. Copyright Office. Any unauthorized use, reproduction, or infringement of this work is strictly prohibited. I reserve the right to pursue legal action to enforce these rights.]

My second-year MFA film project.

When memories overwhelm her, Leila, aged 19, experiences a sensation akin to being submerged. She is battling dissociative episodes, where her anxieties, remorse, and delusions become entangled. Despite her ability to endure, the burden of her past experiences remains inescapable. Like water clinging to her upon reaching the shore, the residue of her memories persists.

In 2017, Taiwanese author Yihan Lin tragically took her own life after a prolonged battle with mental illness. Her autobiographical novel, "Fang Si-Chi's First Love Paradise," hints at her despair being tied to sexual assault by her literature teacher during her junior high years, an event that deeply influenced the novel's main character.

In 2018, while grappling with depression during a gap year in Sri Lanka, I encountered Lin's book on a rooftop one summer night. The protagonist's struggle with mental illness resonated deeply with me, highlighting the unfair burden of recovery.

Recovering from depression is formidable, shadowing even the so-called best years of my life from 19 to 23. The lingering fear that my depression might have harmed others or caused me to miss out on opportunities adds to my guilt, hindering my quest for inner peace. Despite understanding that I'm not entirely to blame, I find myself trapped in a cycle of self-reproach and a relentless desire to alter past events.

The structure of this film is designed to visualize trauma from our perspective. Through my narrative, I seek to convey the emotional trajectory of enduring and overcoming depression and my stance toward reconciling with my past. Reflecting on my journey from a removed vantage point transforms my experiences into a distant, malleable dream, empowering me to share my story with newfound bravery.

Accolades:
2024-2025 Beyond The Screen Film Festival - Winner of Best Experimental Film, Best Short Film Director, Best Student Film, Best Editing, Best Leading Actress - Lucy Water
2024 Berlin Short Film Awards - Winner of Best Female Director
2024 Toronto International Women Film Festival – Official Selection & Nominee
2024 Art Giraffe International Film Festival – Semi Finalist of Best Short Film, Best Experimental Film, and Best Student Film
2024 Milan Indie Film Festival Winter Season - Honorable Mention as Best First-Time Director; Winner of Best Film Color and Best Poster Design
2024 London Women Film Festival – Official Selection
2024 Black Owl Film Festival - Winner of Best Student Film

JINYANG LI 李 金阳

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JINYANG LI 李金阳